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News - 13/09/2002

By Stephen Swann

Glaswegian Tour In A Nutshell!

So 14 guys headed off to Glasgow on an Easyjet flight on 6th September. So far so good... most even managed to dye their hair blond as everyone had promised. But all was about to take a turn for the worse.

James Greer managed to leave his passport on the 737!!!

The passport fiasco caused much consternation in the arrivals lounge. In fact, the biggest hassle was HAVING to talk to the "Help Desk" which contained a "very nice" boy with lilac lipstick...

The hanging around, however, did enable the guys to meet Pop Sensations - Liberty X (see below).

The taxi journey to Jury's Hotel was smooth enough except the 30-somethings did get detached... somehow finding themselves in the bar! Murph & Swann did catch up.

Caldwell, Reid Senior and Swann then decided to join the blondies by visiting "Graeme Reid's Hairdressers". An hour and a wee bit later, the trio emerged looking as bent as a thr'penny bit.

The afternoon's match against Clydesdale was a joy for Leon. The half-time scoreline was less than flattering with the very little to separate the teams, but the onslaught in the second half resulted in a resounding 5-1 win for the Green Machine.

The devouring of barbecued burgers and sausages afterwards was washed down by plenty of "heavy". The exchange of pleasantries was performed by Chairman Strange with a presentation of a framed EAHC shirt, a plaque and a bottle of real whiskey - 10 year old, single malt Bushmills.

JG left the sticks behind - taxis were called to help!!!

The boys in green then hit the town, where they were deprived of entrance to Babazar, but did find solice in a nearby drinking establishment. Excessive drinking meant there was little to report, until hometime...

The Golden Rule, however, must be enforced at this point - "No Tour Talk". Needless to say, somebody scored (off the pitch) and the hapless Swann and Murph were deprived of their bedrooms during the event. Thankfully for the old boys, two sexy ladies did give up their room for the lads to get some shut eye - actually, the sexy ladies were checking out and the lads sneaked INTO their room before the door closed!

Day 2... no sign of hangovers, but the female addition to our company was still present. Weird... A few pints attempted to revive the weary, then it was off to Uddingston. Another poor first half ensured the team received a stern word or three FROM Captain Burgess. The second half was a different affair altogether. A Swann hat-trick was ruled out by one the goals being disallowed. A final score of 4-1 certainly did not flatter the Gormley Guys.

Graeme Reid had left the Framed Shirt behind - taxis were called to help!!!

Uddingston's club house saw more pleasantries exchanged, though Alan Burgess did his duty this time. Pies and beans were provided along with the standard jugs of "heavy". As the touring squad were athletes (of a kind), the local pizza parlour was called upon to inject some well-deserved carbohydrates.

The Uddingston Ladies Hockey Club were running a disco in the club house... an event that could not be passed up by our ever generous band of merry men. Strange & Skelton had departed for quiter pastures, but the remainder did have a go at the local talent - with varying degrees of success.

Upon arriving back at HQ, the squad were surprised to see the young (?) lady FROM the previous evening loitering in the lobby! Round 2!!!

Day 3 saw a sorry sight. Two nights of excessive drinking was starting to take its toll and the boys did not look too healthy at all. In the first half against Clydesdale, the boys took a hammering. A much improved second half restored some dignity to the scoreline, but the Green Machine still suffered their first defeat - 4-3.

More "heavy" was produced and the Clydesdale boys even provided pizzas. Murph was forced to endure 6 double whiskys... much to the concern of his legs!

DC had left his wallet at Jury's - more help required!!!

Then it was off to the airport for a safe journey home.

Hopefully... the experience will be repeated this time next year!

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